I took a class recently where, I felt, the teacher was heavily egoic and focused on creating distance between herself and the students. I read it in the way she spoke and the way she gave adjustments- she adjusted me in ways where, if I were to respond verbally, I would have said, “No, actually, I’ve checked with alignment experts and read Iyengar and am currently listening to my body and am 99% sure that this is the correct expression of the pose for my body right now.” Instead, I tried her adjustments although my body was not loving the idea- and, sure enough, the practice was uncomfortable and definitely not meditative. It felt like her adjustments, to me and others, and her verbal instructions, were all centered around her saying “I know more about yoga than you.”
Whether this was true is, of course, pretty irrelevant. How would I know, empirically, that she had ego issues? And how would that knowledge benefit me? No, this was all about my experience with it. I perceived a certain dynamic. Wanting to both preserve my own ego (I’d also like to think I know quite a bit about hatha yoga) and have an enjoyable class, I constructed certain defenses.
I didn’t realize this at the time. The next morning, I had a discussion with a friend and, of course, felt like they were trying to assert some kind of intellectual status over me and reacted. Slowly, I realized I was mindlessly repeating the pattern from the night before, softened up a bit, and we were both able to learn a lot from the conversation.
I’m bringing this up as a reminder that yoga doesn’t necessarily happen on the mat. In class, it had just been calisthenics, and not letting go of that reaction was definitely not yoga. The next day, with that sudden spark of awareness- that was yoga.
Maybe that teacher, through no merit of her own, wasn’t such a terrible teacher after all.
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As some of you know, I spent the first half of January in Israel- on Taglit-Birthright’s Ultimate Extreme Israel trip. I have always had some ambivalence about the Jewish side of my background, and had embarrassingly little knowledge of the history- what better way to explore that than to go there, face a few fears, and jump right in? I was thrilled to discover that Judaism has a rich meditative tradition as well. In Tzfat, I picked up The Breath and Body of Inner Torah by Miriam Millhauser Castle. It’s really interesting to see how the basic precepts of yoga- the breath connected to our divine nature, the importance of the body in terms of self-knowledge- show up in other traditions. It’s not a yoga book. She’s got a different approach- never trying to alter the breath, for example- but emphasizes a very deep and nuanced physical awareness as a religious experience. I consider myself devotedly secular and would call the same kind of subtle, focused awareness a psychologically integrative experience. It’s a nice reminder of the idea that “all paths lead to yoga.” We may have different words, sources of truth, and feelings, but anything done with love and awareness will lead to union. Loving The Mindfulist. I’ve been thinking a lot about commitment lately- and with the New Year coming up, maybe you have too. A long time ago, I committed to showing up on the mat daily. This was not some arbitrary decision, and I couldn’t tell you when it started. It arised organically as I came to understand how yoga made me feel. _________ I really love this article about how journaling can compliment your yoga practice. One other way for you to “show up” to your practice. (yeah, I can’t resist using cheesy post titles. Sorry.) Breathing. Sometimes that’s about all you can do. (If the player won’t cooperate, click HERE.) “Balancing poses make us newly grateful for having two legs and feet.” -Robert Butera, Ph.D. This quote was the inspiration for this post-Thanksgiving mid-Holidays vinyasa flow, which is about 25 minutes long and involves lots of balancing poses. Intermediate level- since we’re not using any visual cues, you should already have a grasp of the poses. To me, balance is all about foundation- whether you’re balancing on two feet, one foot, two hands, whatever- it’s all about appreciating and bringing awareness to what is connecting with the floor and softening into it. Maintaining balance involves a complex system of muscular engagement and release- so challenging balance postures can be a great way to get to know your body. Tiny print stuff: not all yoga practice is suitable for everyone. Please always consult your doctor before beginning this or any exercise regime. The instruction herein is in no way intended as a substitute for medical or mental health counseling. If you feel any discomfort during these routines or any other fitness program, you should consult your doctor or healthcare professional. By downloading the podcasts you accept full responsibility for the instruction given. Abby Thompson and LBY accept no liability whatsoever for any injury or loss in relation to the podcast recordings. *Public classes returning to Brooklyn in January! Follow LBY on twitter for updates! My first podcast! To be honest, I am NOT happy with the sound quality on this baby. But it’s about the yoga, right? I just really wanted to get something to you guys before the holiday. So just put on some music that blisses YOU out (which is why I didn’t add my own playlist), pull up a mat, and rock out. EDIT: Going rogue without a plugin. Get the file HERE. It should play in most browsers without a download necessary. Tiny print stuff: not all yoga practice is suitable for everyone. Please always consult your doctor before beginning this or any exercise regime. The instruction herein is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling. If you feel any discomfort during these routines or any other fitness program, you should consult your doctor or healthcare professional. By downloading the podcasts you accept full responsibility for the instruction given. The producers, performers, distributors, production cast and crew accept no liability whatsoever for any injury or loss in relation to the podcast recordings. I wanted to write a follow up to my last post, which claimed that asana practice with breath is a complete system in and of itself. I’m slightly relieved to not have received a mailbox full of death threats- that could be because I don’t have very many readers, or, hopefully, because yogis aren’t really the death threat type. I’m hoping its the latter.
Anyway, I want to get into a bit of my philosophy about why that works for me. You might say to me, after reading that last post:
“But Abby, don’t you know about the eight limbed path? DIDN’T YOU READ PATANJALI?!”
And I would respond, “yes, Virginia, I sure do/did. I’d be a pretty crappy teacher if I didn’t, no?”
A bit of a refresher here: The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali is a brilliant text. If you walk into a bookstore awesome enough to have a whole shelf or more about yoga, 80% of the books there will be based in some way on interpretation and application of these sutras. “Sutra” means thread, or string, just a bit of guidance that we are then instructed to follow and interpret. This means that, no matter how it’s translated, the sutras won’t just lay out an obvious path for you to walk.
The eight limbed path described in the yoga sutras: restraints (do nots), observances (do’s), asana (poses), pranayama (breath work), sense withdrawal (towards meditation), focus on an object (towards meditation), meditation, all towards contentment/enlightenment/liberation. It’s from interpreting these that you get the “everything else” that asana practice doesn’t cover.
I have a deep respect and love for the body, cultivated through study of yoga, martial arts, feminism, and psychology. Pretty much every learning experience I have, academic or otherwise, had has eventually driven me back to the amazing capacity of the mind-body connection. And it’s from that belief that I make that claim. Every time you practice yoga, go for a mindful run, make love, dance, or just sit in a chair and read this is an opportunity to tune into the sensations in your body. You are breathing all the time. Every time you shift your awareness to your body and breath, you learn a little bit more about yourself. And to me, this is the most pure kind of knowledge there is- a stronger truth than any religious text can offer. It’s from this place, I feel, that you can build an entire lifestyle practice. It takes time, maybe years, to learn to access this body knowledge, but it’s from here that you can sense when things are stressful on a deep psychological level. Things like eating habits, relationships, career stuff- all the choices we make in life can be informed, deepened, made meaningful through practice with the body and breath.
I’m thinking this is what the texts, the eight limbs, were made to codify. Knowledge acquired through years of mindfulness and contemplation. They’re an offering to us, available for us to practice with.
So, my beliefs and teaching philosophy in a handy diagram:
Body > Text
Body > Dogma
Body > Guru
There’s debate all over yogablogland about what constitutes “real” yoga and I haven’t really gotten elbow-deep in that discussion. I know some of the comments I’ve made in this blog haven’t exactly been peace-love-and-harmony yogic, and while I apologize for anything that might have come off as flippant, I’m a human who just happens to really love yoga, not a role model for virtue.
One of the big arguments around these parts is that asana practice is overemphasized in American yoga teaching. I disagree- I think that with the proper attitude, movement can be an incredible platform for emotional and spiritual transformation. Getting into your body, breathing, dealing with the reality that in this moment, that sensation in your hamstring is pretty much everything. It takes a long time to cultivate, but once you get there, it’s more instructive than any text or guru. Yes, I will repeat that sentence in case I wasn’t quite clear: I believe that movement and breath is a complete, transformative practice in and of itself.
There’s a similar debate in art therapy. There’s “art IN therapy,” meaning that artmaking is useful in conjuction with talk therapy, as both a diagnostic tool and a therapeutic activity. Then there’s “art AS therapy,” the idea that sitting down to make art with (or even, somewhat less safely and effectively, without) a therapist guide, is a complete therapy in itself: revealing, allowing expression for, and encouraging integration of any disordered thinking or troubling experiences. You can guess which school I tend to agree with. This can be scary for the yoga or art therapy professional as it really limits their role- rather than guru/expert they become a facilitator/guide/midwife/cheerleader. There’s still a huge amount of responsibility in this role, but it’s significantly more nuanced than it might seem. It is still extremely valuable.
My background in power vinyasa yoga meant that for the first several years I practiced, it was just body and breath. There was a bit of wisdom from the teacher about how life is like this pose or that transition, and what it means to really “practice” in life and yoga. There would be some kind of inspiring text, but not necessarily from the Upanishads. And that was fine for me- a complete sequence. The transformation left me hungry for more and I branched out into other practices and deeper study- reading the Sutras and the Bhagavad Gita, trying out wildly diverse yoga schools, participating in workshops, giving serious thought to how I would incorporate the yamas and niyamas (yoga’s “do/do not” list that’s a pretty great template for living) in my life, practice, teaching, and career in a way that makes sense to me. That’s pretty much what this blog is about. Some practices resonated with me, and some didn’t. I let the ones that didn’t work for ME fall away from my daily routine and teaching. For example, I’m not so big on chanting to gods that aren’t part of my belief system- but if the invocation gives you a great warm fuzzy feeling, makes your practice fuller, and allows you to carry a greater zest for life off of the mat, then by all means, do it! But if someone would prefer to really work with their triangle pose (maybe not even refer to it in sanskrit)- well, condemning them as somehow not yogic enough is underestimating their enormous potential for growth.
There is definitely a place in this approach to yoga for studying ancient texts. You don’t need to throw away your neti pot or cancel your kirtan tickets or flight to Ibiza (though I’ll happily take your place!). But when that stuff- and yes, if it’s not making you feel great, it’s stuff- becomes the main dish and confronting the reality of who you really are at this moment in compass pose just becomes the appetizer- that’s when you’ve lost sight of your yoga.
EDIT: Follow up- more on the role of asana practice in The Value of Asanas, Part 2.
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*This Thursday, 11/19, will be our last public class of 2009 in Brooklyn. I’m going on hiatus from these classes for the holidays and will resume on 1/21/09- so be sure to get that last bit of lifebloom yoga in! After this week, keep watching this blog for upcoming classes and other goodies, and I’ll still be around for private/group classes!
Hey kids! Just wanted to pop in and let you know I’m still around- still teaching, writing, and doing yoga. I’ve been very busy moving this blog into a fancy, grown-up Wordpress site. This process has been much like yoga: slow, sometimes difficult, sometimes amazing. I have a couple friends supporting me with webhosting and guidance, and they’ve all got a lot on their plates right now, so bear with me. It’s getting there- expect an official “please update your feeds/links/bookmarks” soon! If you’re going through withdrawal symptoms, never fear! I was published in Elephant Journal a couple weeks ago: Bared Teeth, Clenched Fists, and Anger- an essay about using the centeredness and expressive capacity of yoga to deal with anger. And from my meanderings:
Just. Go. Some studios and gyms offer somewhere around 40 types of yoga. You could spend an entire afternoon, or more, researching which style might suit you best and asking around about the best teacher. But while you’re doing this, you’re not actually at yoga. You have the rest of your life to figure this out. Use your judgment, of course, Advanced Human Pretzel Thermodynamics might not be the best place for you at first, but any beginner-friendly class is a great start. Bonus points if it’s a convenient time, location, and price for you to work into your regular schedule. Tell the teacher, if you want. Many teachers will ask if anyone is new as class begins, but not all of them. I suggest you introduce yourself at the beginning. Most will be pretty good about keeping an eye on you to make sure you have an enjoyable and safe experience- it’s in both of our best interest that you walk out in one piece and want to come back! That said, if you’re not comfortable outing yourself, then don’t. The yoga police won’t knock down your door, I promise. Find a good spot in the back/middle. True, you’re supposed to feel your way into the posture from the inside out, but ask anyone who tells you that if they didn’t start learning yoga visually. Putting yourself in a place in the room where you can see other people practicing without straining your neck will make life easier. Breathe. It’s tempting to hold your breath when things get tough. Just don’t. Most styles of yoga use ujayyi breathing throughout class. Try making an audible breath like you would if you were trying to fog up a window in the wintertime. Now close your mouth and do that through your nose. It should feel like you’re contracting the back of your throat. This breath helps you keep your breathing steady and even, and encourages circulation so carbon dioxide is carried out of the muscles. Good stuff. Back off. You have the rest of your life to get that split or backbend- and the day you slip effortlessly into that advanced pose, it won’t necessarily mean you’re a better person. But if you injure yourself today, you’re a lot less likely to ever get there. As you progress in yoga, you’ll learn to work your “edge” mindfully and understand what your body is resisting and why. But for now, just showing up to that first class might be as far out of your comfort zone as you need to venture. I encourage my students, new and old, to take child’s pose whenever something doesn’t feel quite right. It’s a great “reboot” for the body, mind, and breath. Your teacher might have another idea about how you might want to rest, but a good teacher will understand and encourage taking breaks when you need to. After class, let it go. You probably came in with a certain set of expectations about the class or how you would perform. You may be elated, or you may be frustrated with yourself. Let it go. It’s over. If you didn’t feel comfortable at all with the class or teacher, consider another time/teacher/studio. If you’re disappointed in yourself, congratulations- you’ve found a challenge, and will soon learn how valuable that opportunity is. Drink some water and rest up. You’re going to be sore tomorrow, trust me. Having an extra glass or two of water will encourage that lactic acid to move. The sooner you’re healed up, the sooner you can get back on the yoga mat. But give it time- it’s during rest that muscles actually repair themselves and get stronger. Namaste, and may the force be with you! |
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